- Its easier to complain than doing something about it
Why not complain all the time and bitch about others, how others are mistreating you and how others have wrong done you in the past so thats why you are the way you are now?
There, done. All problems have been solved now.
Watching grown man complaining about others and how others have wrong them is so off putting. Not because releasing a bit of stress and “bitching” about it is not useful; doing it all the time is. Every single time is someone else’s fault, every single discussion, interaction you are never to blame.
You are never wrong, others have wronged you; thats why you are in the position where you are right now.
You know, ten years ago that person did something wrong to you and now ten years after you are in this position of weakness because of that.
It’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror and admit defeat or admit you need to improve, you need to get better.
Something doesnt work out, do something about it. But who am I to talk about this when I have used the same excuses over and over again.
Always pushing the to do list, the plan in the back of my mind because there was never the right time. There is always something.
Problem is, it came back bitting me in the ass. big time.
It took some time to understand and process all the stories I was hearing as a kid and every story had an excuse, had a reason.
I never fully bought the reason to be an actual reason, but more of an excuse.
“Oh Im tired, worked all day, Im just gonna drink now”
“Oh I dont have time to re-do the bathroom, lets postpone”
“Oh but…”
“Yes but thats because…”
Always something. The upbringing wasnt very rewarding. Where’s the fighting to be better, where’s the lets do this together, where’s the time spent with your child?
Where’s the “son, what’s wrong and how can I help?”
Why asking me what’s wrong if after you gonna bitch about it and complain?
No accountability. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, you know what maybe just maybe a part of it is my fault.
Without buts and because and if I had.
I gave myself a challenge recently, stop using because or but.
Every time I would hear myself using the word but or because when asked about a task, a to do or even anything else in general I would just stop talking.
I would try to reformulate without using but or because and see where would that land me.
I got sick with flu recently and work schedule changed, skipped gym for about three weeks.
I was annoyed initially that I skipped gym first day, second day, third day. After that I never gave it too much thought. It became part of my day to not go to the gym.
Three weeks go by and Im feeling it inside my body, I need to go back, I need to do something.
First day when everybody was saying “I havent seen you in long time” I would always say “oh yes you know I was sick”
And I could hear myself giving an excuse. I could hear myself giving a reason why I skipped for so long. I hated it.
I hated giving the excuse and I hated not making progress. Not because the three weeks would make huge progress in terms of muscle, cardio or anything like that.
Its more about the consistency. I wasnt consistent for three weeks.
Granted a week off when sick is fine and mentally Im prepared for it and your body needs it. But I didnt need three weeks of it; and I knew it.
Always an excuse. I went to bed too late last night so could wake up, I was too tired from work even though I netflix my evening away instead of sleeping.
I am more annoyed about breaking the consistency than the physical progress (negligible).
In my childhood, the same. Always a reason. People bitching about others while they are doing the same thing.
Such a bad example to set up on your kids. They copy everything you do without you realising.
You swear, they swear; and after you are the one getting angry that they swear.
Its not easy to admit you need to get better, to improve. Because its always easier to point towards other direction, person. “Oh but if my partner didnt do this or that” “Oh but if my work was different” “Oh but if I lived in another city”
Even if those things will come true, there’s another reason. Situations and environments change, the excuses keep coming.
I always as a child people would use excuses for anything (granted some are real and reasonable); and would just ick me. Not for any other reason than it destroys you as a character, as a person.
Every time I used because or but, I would feel better momentarily but it would add up. And after I would be angry, annoyed, displeased with myself and didnt know why.
No ifs, no buts no coconuts.
#building_better_fathers #diary_of_a_dad